Here's my theory...

Possibly a shorter post today. Sorry I've been gone so long; you don't need to know why. Today's comes from conversation with my sister, who is more intelligent than she gives herself credit for. What I mean by that is that she knows all the facts, but maybe doesn't trust herself enough to stick by what she knows, or something. Anyway, whatever it is means occasionally I attempt to convince her that certain things happen a certain way for reasons she didn't even know were reasons. This got me remembering some of the weird theories I came up with for certain things, a few of which I'd like to share with you.

Keep Moving Forward

So we were out in rural England one summer holiday, Devon I think it was. Walking over the hills and such, exploring nature, alive with the sound of music etc. On the horizon we spot a rare sight for anyone from less rural places, namely a couple of wind turbines, spinning slowly in the breeze. My sister asks a question about the turbines (I don't remember what it was) and I took the opportunity to enlighten her with some wind turbine 'facts'. This is the theory I suggested.

"The world turns, and we turn with it." I think that's an old saying. But what if we don't. The earth turns, sure, but history shows us that land masses split and shift, so maybe they're not always attached to the actual earth. So the world turns, but the land stays where it is. This where the wind turbines come in.

What if the wind turbines have been put up because the countries they're in need the power of the wind to keep them moving around the earth. The turbines are propeller shaped, and something that size probably generates more power than people let on. Britain, one of the smaller land masses of the world, has a few of them. America, a significantly larger land mass, has whole fields, acres of these turbines. 

Sure, maybe they're just generating a renewable energy resource. OR MAYBE THEY'RE MOVING THE WHOLE FRICKIN' COUNTRY!!! WHAT!? NO! IT CAN'T BE! But what if it is? What of the only thing stopping us from slamming into the US East Coast, and France into us, is these huge white propellers; driving the country like and old timey boat.

It's just a thought.

The Little People

This one I haven't tried to convince anyone of, but I've thought about it in the back of my mind for a while. The human brain has long been a mystery. We think we know some stuff about how it works, but then something happens, someone does something wacko that we can't explain and boom, everything's up in the air again. Here's how I think it could work.

Basically, your human brain is like the offices of a large corporation, filled with tiny little you's all working in different departments of your body. Obviously all decisions come from the top, where the Board of Brain Directors decide what they want you to say and do, send those instructions down to the relevant floor (i.e. say "Here's a crazy theory" and fax that down to the vocal department), the wheels spin and your body moves.

Maybe one day you wake up and your arms gone to sleep? Those guys have gone on strike. The limb guys always think they're underpaid. They do the walking, but they can't do the talking. Lose your voice? The vocal team are often understaffed. Being so close to the biggest opening in the body means they get all the diseases right in their face. Sure they get good medical care and preventative measures do exist, but sometimes the guys upstairs decide that the budget won't stretch that far and suddenly, 

"Hey! Why can't I speak properly? Why am I all croaky? Shit, vocal team? Vocal team, you guys in?" 

"Sorry boss, it's just Larry in today. I can only work so many chords!"

Also, just like people at real corporations, sometimes they work nights. Sleepwalkers and talkers, I'm looking at you. Sure the lights are off and the cleaners gone home, but those vocal guys gotta make up the hours they missed from that time you went out in January without a scarf. So they pull up old files from the Brain Database and just play out sound bytes at random. And those guys working nights in the brain? The memory guys, constantly busy cataloguing and filing everything you've ever seen, done or said. Sometimes maybe they get bored, maybe they take a few memories, mix them together (memory guys are big on video editing) and play it out for their own entertainment. Of course, to you this appears as a dream, and makes no sense.

I could go on, but it's probably all gibberish.

But it's just a thought.

So there you have it. Utter drivel, I know, and many holes can and probably will be poked, but when you just think about stuff, this kind of thing happens. Maybe I'll do more of these, maybe my brain will explode. Find out next time on (big, deep announcers voice) KINDA HAZY BLOOOOOGGGG!

Disclaimer: The views expressed above should not be dwelt on by any sane-thinking person. They are the ramblings of a possible psychopath and are being investigated by the relevant authorities. A very good day to you, Sir's and Madam's, until we meet again.